Uh, ah! Chavez no se va!

Greetings from Day 4 of our delegation entitled Democracy, Development and Regional Integration. The purpose of the delegation is to explore the social changes that are taking place in Venezuela as a result of the Bolivarian Revolution headed up by George Bush's nemesis Hugo Chavez. Even though I do not consider myself a Chavista, I think Huguito has some ambitious and interesting programs: community-based healthcare missions, literacy campaigns, land reform, and alternatives to free trade. (sigh) Viva la revolucion! Having said that, I am not convinced that he will be the savior of the Americas that many hope he will be. While I don't think Venezuela is under a dictatorship, the authoritarian features, concentration of power and the security concern if you are anti-Chavez raise a red flag for me. In my next blog, I will expound. Stay tuned. This revolution will not be televised.

Los Llanos is Spanish for "the Llanos"

Here are some photos from Los Llanos. Despite the heat, relentless bugs, frogs that surprise you while you're on the toilet, and the noisy resident pig tied to the side of our sleeping quarters I LOVED Los Llanos. See why!

Capybara - the largest rodent in the world. That is its actual distinction. I didnt make that up. I actually thought Mickey had that honor.






Oso Hormiguero AKA Ant Eater.








Our sleeping accommodations








Anaconda hunting. They found two little ones but I didnt want to post their pictures because my mom hates snakes.







Our guide has lived in the area for 20 years. He found this lizard while they were anaconda hunting.







Caiman - reptile found only in this region of Venezuela.
Filipina - found traipsing around South America







Matamata








River safari

Our river side accommodations and resident piglet.

In defense of piranhas

I write this blog entry in defense of our vilified animal brethren, the piranha. While I was in los llanos (the plains) I had the opportunity to learn that the threat posed to humans by the piranha has been highly exaggerated. Movies set in the Amazon showing ferocious schools of piranhas devouring cows and swimmers have propagated an unfortunate and unsavory reputation. Zoologists have found that piranhas travel in schools not to hunt, but for protection from their natural predators, primarily the river dolphin. That's right, while the general public buys the benevolent dolphin stereotype, Flipper is out preying on the significantly smaller and slower piranha. It is true that piranhas have highly specialized dentition designed for rapid puncturing and shearing, but wouldn't you want to have this defense mechanism if Flipper was cornering you?
I lobby for the piranha to be reclassified under the same taxonomy as less maligned marine life such as the baby seal and guppy. Please consider my request to stop the slander of this cherubic fish.
By the way, we fished piranhas for dinner. They are delicious...and cherubic.
The piranha - our friend, our freshwater brethren.

Check out my professional piranha fishing stance.

Whoaaaa, Nelly!

Yesterday morning I overcame my unreasonable and unpublicized fear of horses. As part of my 4 day trip to the Venezuelan plains (los llanos) the locals took us on a 3 hour horse ride. Here in los llanos horses are the primary form of transportation; so as the old adage goes - When in Rome, ride horses.
When the llaneros assigned us to our equine equivalents, everyone ran over to pet, coo and speak sweetly to their new partners in crime. I, on the other hand, stared my horse down (from 5 feet away), one hand on hip, the other one fiercely pointing at him and articulated my rules...
1) No galloping
2) No trotting
3) No leaping over things
4) No copulating
5) and no horseplay!!!
My horse's name was Borracho which loosely translates into Drunkard, a moniker appropriately assigned to him for his slow unpredictable gait. Before we began riding, the llaneros gave us an orientation and crash course on horseback riding - how to direct the horse, how to get it to walk faster, how to sit properly. They talked for about 15 minutes but all I wanted to know was this one thing - how to stop.
Turns out that the next 3 hours were absolutely delightful. Like in old western movies Borracho and I ambled down dirt roads, across marshly plains, and through rivers...and into the sunset.

In a wet suit down by the river

I'm not scared. Really.

Canyoning is a relatively new diversion in the Venezuelan highlands. As I walked around Merida the other day I ogled sexy ads in front of adventure tour agencies splashed with photos of smiling adventurers dangling from ropes and words like "exhilirating", "adrenaline", "heart-stopping." Sign me up please!
The very next day I was pimped out in a neoprene wet suit, harness, and helmet- a combination that singlehandedly ruined my mojo (I now understand why Indiana Jones was primarily a land adventurer). The next six hours we rappelled down waterfalls, jumped into slow rapids (an oxymoron I know), and swam/plodded/crawled/slid down the river.
Enjoy the following images of said canyoning journey. If my lips look purple, do not adjust your monitor. I think I was hypothermic.

Travelers Diarrhea down the toilet

My GI and I are proud to say that I have not gotten travelers diarrhea or any stomach malady for that matter in over 5 years, not even in Guatemala where you order your beans with a side of stomach parasites. Last night as I was eating a cachapa at a street kitchen I pondered this great mystery of how Ive escaped the maligned runs while other wayworn travelers with rumbling tummies are ubiquitous. I have unraveled this mystery. The trick is to avoid like a (stomach) plague the places where all the other backpackers eat. Instead, eat from street vendors where all the locals are chowing. Disregard how many blatant violations of food safety practices you observe. They are inconsequential. I´ve taken to corner food carts and steered clear of gringo haunts. Think about it, everyone has heard of travelers diarrhea but have you ever heard of locals diarrhea? Enjoy your meal.

My encore in Venezuela

Greetings from Parte 2 of my South American sojourn, Venezuela. I spent about 24 hours in Caracas then quickly escaped to the Andean town of Merida where I am now. Caracas is more chaotic than ever. In my book, it now shares with Guatemala City the distinction of ¨Most Obnoxious Capital City.¨I would recommend these two destinations to all your worst enemies.
Conversely, at over 3000 feet above sea level, Merida is an alpine wonderland: snowy Andean mountain peaks, azure skies, colonial architecture, cheap food and accommodations. The only thing that could make it better would be unicorns. Why can't I ever find unicorns?!
I'll post pictures later. I can't find my USB cable. Maybe the unicorns ate it.

When I lived in Merida, this was the apartment building where I lived!

If only it had unicorns. (sigh)

R.I.P.

HAIKU for a Very Special Tarantula

Sorry they stunned you

with the broom then lit you on

fire. That must have hurt.

McGyver with a Glue Gun

As all (four of) my loyal readers know, my GLA students and I have spent the last three weeks working at Polo Timbo which is akin to a Boys and Girls Club in the States. Tomorrow will be our last day as the GLA program ends this weekend.
Over the past few weeks weve given conversational English classes, played volleyball/ultimate frisbee/soccer/duckduckgoose/musical slipper, and taught arts & crafts. Armed usually with just yarn, glue, glitter and popsiscle sticks we came up with an impossible number of art projects. Think McGyver with a glue gun. We also had Polo kids design a mural that we are now in the process of painting.

Making yarn bracelets

Popsicle stick project #57

Yarn Art

Move over Diego Rivera

Team Timbo - See you at the World Cup in South Africa 2010
Would I need to declare him at Customs?

I heart Fortal

Last night we took students to Fortal, the regional equivalent of the famed Carnaval of Rio de Janeiro and Bahia. Courtesy of GLA (and the exhorbitant amount of money students paid to be part of the program) we rocked the VIP section that was elevated above the parade path (see Brasil knows how to get down - Photo #1). Once we locked the students in and forbade them to leave the VIP boxes, Dawn and I fled to the streets to investigate the party scene. Staying on the periphery of the festivities, our escape started out innocently: walking around eating caramel popcorn, giggling at all the public displays of affection, and snapping photos of the hoards of partygoers dancing frenetically alongside the moving concerts on floats (see Brasil knows how to get down - Photo #2 and #3). And then, we turned to the dark side...

Melanie: Do you want to go in and dance with the parade?
Dawn: Yeah, ok!
(5 minutes later)
Both of us jumping and pumping our fists
Dawn: Wanna get a beer?
Melanie: Yeah, ok!
(2 hours later)
Melanie (voice now hoarse): Maybe we should go back and check on the students.
Dawn (with flat affect): Mmm.

I heart Fortal. Next time I come back somebody please remind me not to bring 36 teenagers that I'm legally responsible for. Such a buzz kill.

Brasil knows how to get down- Photo #1
(note our VIP section in the background)

Brasil knows how to get down - Photo #2 and #3

In conclusion,
Fortal = debauchery + PDA + moving concerts on floats + tasty libations + caramel popcorn MINUS 36 teenagers

Brasil: An exhilirating place to sit on your a%#

Donkey riding is not for the faint of heart.

Do not attempt this at home.

The model photographed here is a trained stuntsman.

No animals or humans were injured in the photographing of this scene.

Dont Tell Hotels

Like in most Latin American countries it is common for people in Brasil to live with their families until they are married. The need for couples´privacy has given birth to a healthy market of amorously named hotels.

I´ve entertained myself on long bus rides by searching for these hotels and writing down their names. Here is a sampling...

Bem que me quer (It´s Good that You Love Me) Hotel
Castile do Amor (Castle of Love) Hotel
O Romance Comenca Aqui (Romance Starts Here) Hotel
Hotel do Amor (Hotel of Love)
Ele and Ela (He and She) Hotel
Momentos Hotel (with the silouette of a man and a woman ballroom dancing)
Love House
Hotel Passion (silouette of...oh, never mind)
Swinger Hotel

Everything I dune, I dune it for you

For your viewing pleasure here are some photos from our dune buggy excursion at Praia Caucaia. Our guide drove us to the top of a dune then we sandboarded down into a lake. It was brilliant even though I ate my weight in sand. I´m voting DuneBuggying in Brasil as the 8th Wonder of the World. Ask not what your country has dune for you, but what you can dune for your country. DuneBuggying in 2008.

Peter and I sandboarded down together successfully. But when I doubled with Jamie (a student) we plowed full-force into the back of an unsuspecting innocent bystander. I don´t have a picture of that incident but I still have Jamie´s teeth marks on the back of my head.

This is just seconds before I face planted.

Meet the People Who You´ve Entrusted Your Children To

Trust us. We know what we´re doing. No, really.

(left to right)
Peter Assistant Program Director Extraordinaire & Friend

Peter and I taught together at Leadership High School in San Francisco. We are recording a Greatest Hits CD together. Stay tuned for that.

Melanie Mentor and Glamour Shots Coordinator

Currently lobbying the GLA (Global Leadership Adventures) governing body to change the name of the program to GLA (Glamorous Leaders Academy).

Richard Mentor and Learner of the English language

Richard is a British man living and teaching languages in Switzerland. Although we all speak English, we often need a translator in order to understand each other.

Carley MegaStar Assistant to the Program

Carly hails from Los Angeles. She enjoys long walks on the beach and expensive bathing suits.

Andrew Program Director for GLA
Andrew hired me for Brazil even though I trashed the program in South Africa last year. Thank you, Andrew, for teaching me the meaning of forgiveness.....sucker! ;-)

Dawn Mentor & Spokesperson for her people

She is attracted to funky men who play the guitar. I anticipate that one day we´ll have to duke it out.

Lina Chaperone

Lina is a computer teacher from Lebanon. One of her limbs is a camera.

Tiago In-country Program Coordinator & Local Stud

Tiago is a fine looking man. Period.

P-Diddy, MelyMel & D-Money

Send your children to us. We´ll treat them right.